Last night I was sitting with my bae (Netflix) and chillin on all 29734598693 of my various social media accounts because I didn’t feel well when I realized something about myself and pretty much every other person in the 15-30 age bracket. We crave attention. We crave interactions. We crave love.
Most of you people are probably reading this thinking, “OMG that’s so obvious. Of course everybody wants to be loved, duh Bridgette.” The thing is, you’ve probably all realized it deep down in your soul, but have never said it out loud. I honestly think that our desire for intimate attention is one of the downfalls of our generation. We’ve created these virtual realities that we are no longer capable of truly knowing people and who they are at their core, which is crazy because that’s the one thing we all want most. To be known for everything we are and then loved without hesitation.
Know what’s really cool though; God does that. He loves without reserve. That’s such a hard concept to grasp, I’m aware, but it’s the truth. I struggle with it every single day, but the struggle to know God love is worth it.
There are so many people who think that God cant love them because of what’s happened to them or what they’ve done, but those people are wrong. God literally sent his son to be brutally murdered for us. If that’s not love then you’re crazy wrong. Sometimes we forget all the stuff he does for us, but we shouldn’t. There are so many places in the Bible where it says he loves us extravagantly…
Isaiah 49:16 (ESV)
“Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.”
Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
John 3:16 (ESV)
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
Lets go back to the part where we don’t think we’re good enough because of who we used to be. So, I’m aware that lots of people who read my blog probably don’t know a lot about me or they only know me a little bit, but I feel like I’m supposed to share a little bit about who I used to be. Now, I didn’t have a totally awful past, but it wasn’t perfect either. I thought for the longest time that nobody would ever love me for who I really am. I mean, I knew that my family loved me, but I was scared of being my complete self and airing all of my dirty laundry. I became a professional at hiding and building walls so no one could get close.
The thing is, some stuff went down when I was in middle school that totally skewed my perceptions on love and life, and all that jazz. I became severely depressed, anxious, and angry. Those things in turn made me very mean. I always compare myself to the meanness level of Regina George on steroids. Funny, but true. I honestly hated pretty much everything, it sucked, but Jesus loved me so much that he was planting seeds the whole time.
I thought that the only way I could feel love was if I got the attention from guys and my peers. I got really good at manipulating the people around me and letting them just close enough till I could rip them to pieces and run away to hide behind the walls I had built. Let me tell you, that’s not a very nice way to live. In fact, I hated every minute of it. The moment that really changed how I thought about myself was during my sophomore year of college. I was hanging out with one of my really good friends and she was telling me about some guy problems she had been having, when I realized that everything I was telling her was also true about myself. I was worth it, God loved me, I was valuable. After that moment I started making a conscious effort to change, it took a long time, and I still have to make an effort. It’s gotten much easier though.
If you ask me, it’s been one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made. We as a young people need to focus on not seeking the wrong kind of attention because we don’t think we’re worth of the right kind. Here’s the thing, just focus on making friends, like genuine friends. Get to know who people really are, deep in their core.
About three weeks ago I was having coffee with a wonderful friend of mine and she was telling me about a study that was done to see if we could make love happen between people who just met. Like, if we could create love by asking a serious of questions that get deeper as the list goes on.
Here’s the link.
So I read these questions and came to the conclusion that these questions are pretty average questions for people who have known each other for a long time. I actually think that these questions are good to ask anybody because they help you learn about whom people really are. Love isn’t just something that happens romantically, but it also exists on a platonic level. I think a great example of that is David and Jonathan in the bible. Check out 1 Samuel 18-20.
This is just a little part of that but I wanted to share it just in case you don’t actually go read it… haha
David and Jonathan’s Friendship
“18 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. 5 And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.”
For all you nerds out there, another super great example of love in a friendship is Frodo and Sam from Lord of The Rings. They trek all the way to Mordor together and even when one of them wants to give up on the other, they never give up. Talk about best friends for life!
Sooooooooooooooooooooo, let’s go back to the beginning; we all crave attention, but we need the right kind. I want to challenge everybody to really try to get to know the people around you, but not for yourself. Get to know them because that’s what we should always do. Get to know them, yourself, and most importantly God. He’s kind of the coolest and I know he’d like it, but lets be honest, you’d like it too.
This weekend is Valentines Day, so all you people out there, I love you. You’re amazing and even if you’re lonely don’t go searching for immediate attention, just read the Bible. You’re all beautiful.