Slightly Obsessed

“You will never influence the world by trying to be like it.”

If you’ve been around in the 21st century I’m sure you’ve heard that quote, especially if you’ve spent a lil’ minute being involved in the church. Here’s the thing, that’s a great quote and it’s very true. The only way to influence someone is if you come at it from a different perspective. I just have one problem, the fact that we are obsessed, and I’m talking OBSESSED, with being different but when we don’t fit in or people don’t respond to us the way we want and expect them to, we feel hurt and abandoned.

We expect people to be our end-all be-all; even then we may just subconsciously make them our “everything.”

This past weekend I fasted social media because that’s where I spend a lot of my time and I realized something about myself, that I sort of knew before but in fasting it became very apparent. I put way too much of my faith and hope into people.

Trusting people is not a bad thing, but relying on them fully is a bad thing.

I am a highly communicative person; I always am texting, calling, or writing a letter to someone. I realized this weekend that if I was not the one going out of my way to talk to those people only 1 or 2 of them regularly talked to me. At first, well most of the weekend, I was pretty upset about this. I felt abandoned, like how could they be like this; if I’m always seeing how they’re doing but they cant take 5 minutes to ask me what’s up? I was legitimately very hurt and feeling, for lack of a better word, abandoned. It’s a really good thing that Jesus has placed some amazing people in my life to tell me how it is.

In my distress I couldn’t even figure out the root of my disdain, but a few of my lovely friends were like “dude, it’s ‘cuase you’re misplacing your trust. You think every one is going to do exactly what you do and do what you want them to, and you hold out hope that it will happen and when it doesn’t you get upset. Your trust is in the wrong place!”

Psalm 118:8 (ESV)

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.”

I’m sitting over here trying to be different and what not and in doing that I am letting myself down because I’m misplacing my trust. I’m trying to influence people based out of my own desires and my own will, which is literally impossible.

Galatians 6:3 (ESV)

“For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”

There it is, in my pride I put my trust in the wrong thing. After all, our control is only and illusion.

So, what am I doing to stop letting my heart get in a jumble because of my pride?

I’m praying that God helps me see where my true worth, hope, trust, and joy lie. Instead of saying God take this away from me, I’m praying that he uses it to show me the truth in a real way. I believe that Gods going to use my misplaced trust as a way to ignite a passionate romance between my creator and me.

Psalm 9:10 (ESV)

“And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

So there it is, in black and white, while trying to be different from the world I put my trust in it. I am a big ol’ screw up, and you know what, that’s totally ok.

I know this may not be as humorous as some of my other posts; I’ll try to work on my comically pleasing writing, but I hope this shows you real life. You are simply amazing; you are a life changer and its only Tuesday, so I know you’re going to have a great week.

XoXo,

Bridgy Colleen