Fight For Your Life

Voice, defined as: The range of sounds distinctive to one person or a type of person – a sound likened to speech as conveying impressions to the mind.

What do you do when you’ve lost your voice? If you’re talking to a performer, you will probably get the answer, “Vocal rest, vitamin C, hot water and honey. Maybe even throw in some cayenne pepper.” If you’re talking to a writer on the other hand, this is probably the end for them and they’re just ready to shave their head and give up. Much like Brittany Spears in 2007 – those were tough times for everybody.

This is a hard topic for me, because I personally feel like I’ve lost my voice. I have nothing to say. I sit at my computer and type away, hating everything that my fingers utter. It’s been since January of this year, about 6 months that I’ve felt that stirring in my soul, that coming alive that writing used to bring. If you are a writer of any kind, I’m sure you can relate, at least a little bit. That dark hole where your dreams seem to have died gets all consuming and it can turn into a pit, if you let it.

This week Bethel Music’s worship school WorshipU is having their 2-week conference. There’s lots of talk of dreams and the beauty God has placed in us, but the funny thing is, I’m still not feeling it. You know, that fire? The thing that lights you up.

Today, a really nice guy from Brazil, named Daniel, came up to me after the morning session. He dropped a word bomb, that was the same as the one I got last night and the one I got last Thursday, and the one the Wednesday before that, and the bunches before that. WHAT. Seriously, my mind is blown. Today when I got home from work, tired and needing alone time, I decided that I needed to write. I need to write about voice.

I’m sitting here trying to do just that, and in my head all that keeps popping up is negativity and hurt. I’m not sure why I feel so broken, when all I want to do is say something – what do I say?

When met with obstacles, it is far better to rise up and fight than cower in fear.

One thing I keep being made aware of is, sometimes your biggest asset will also be your most sought after for the enemy to destroy. If you carry something that can change the world, you better believe you’re going to have to fight for it. When everything inside you wants to run, fight. When your heart feels like its going to implode, fight. When you feel alone, fight. To quote Bridesmaids: “FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE ANNIE!” [that’s the clean version. Haha]

I think the thing that is so frightening is, we are never sure if we’re going to win or lose, but the best part is – you’re going to win.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

There’s another scripter that says, “if God is for you who can be against you?” Well, I think that sums it up.

For me, I still don’t feel that fire, not yet at least, but I know that if I never try to ignite it, it definitely won’t be set a blaze. If there’s one thing I could get across, it would be to never give up, practice, fight! Don’t let your dreams and passions die, even if your voice feels like it’s lost at sea. You are the only you, which means you are the only one capable of your calling. Sure, there are many people out there doing similar things, but similarity doesn’t diminish purpose, it highlights intricate differences. 

XoXo,

Bridgy Colleen