Here’s a little back story, I’m not yet 26 years old and I’ve moved more than 30 times, plus I know I’ve got a few moves comin. Many of those times, were with my family, but as soon as I turned 18 I made a good chunk of cross country moves on my own! Recently, I’ve had quite a few people reach out and ask me about the process of moving and any tips I have to walk into a season that physically takes you away from everything you’ve known.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
I want to address the fact that it is ok to be scared. That is totally and completely normal. You’re leaving your comfort zone--everything you’ve known for a time and you’re essentially having to start over. The thing about that though, is that you’ve got to get over it. You can’t let your fear cripple you. Sure you love being a regular at that coffee shop down the street from your 5 floor walk up, and you especially love going to brunch every sunday and drinking carafes of mimosas with your besties, but like I believe in you, you’ll make those new connections wherever you go!
My dad always says this thing, “Wherever you go, make it your home.” I live by that. Wherever I go, I have the power to make it my home, whether it be for a 2 month summer internship you didn’t expect to get, but now you’re moving or you’re starting a life with your new spouse halfway across the country, or you’ve got to pack up all 4 kids into the suburban a week before the new school year starts! It’s all a lot. You are a powerful being, you have the power of Christ flowing through your veins. Afterall, He wants you to walk in your calling and part of your calling is to love people wherever you go--He gives you the power to do that.
On a more practical note, put yourself out there. Don’t be afraid to go to that connect group at your church, to post up at a coffee shop and talk to the baristas, to join a community running club, to literally just be friendly. Sure, it’s probably going to be uncomfortable and maybe way out of your comfort zone, especially if you’re an introvert, but I promise it won’t be that bad in the long run. When I lived in Redding, I had maybe 2 friends, and that was because I met them via Instagram and then became their roommate; I had to start talking to strangers a lot. Now it’s time for a real life example from that time of my life. I was at a juice bar that I frequented called Roots [Shout out to the Redding people who are like, YASSS that’s my spot!] and there was a girl who worked there that I sort of became friends with because of how often I came in. I added her on instagram and we decided to go grab Chipotle together. We had a rad heart to heart over burrito bowls and from there it was history. She became one of my dearest friends during that time of my life and then she even became a roommate till we both moved our different directions, me back to Dallas and her to San Francisco. All of that being said, if you didn’t think it was possible, there is your real life proof that it is possible. Here’s the thing, we’ve all got a lot of insecurity and fear telling us that no one will like us, that we’re not this way or that way and blah, blah, blah, but I’m here to speak some hard truth. People are going to hate you, sure, that’s just life, but reality is more people are going to love you. Find those people by just being yourself. Let your little light shine and go make some friends.
"That fear, that comparison, it’s bondage."
That fear, that comparison, it’s bondage. What if in this transition time of readjustment to a new life and a new location, God is going to give you the greatest revelation of His love because He finally has you to Himself, relying totally on him?
Something else I’ve learned through these transient times is that you have to be gentle to yourself. You need to be kind and patient with your timeline. If you go try to make friends and they come slowly, trust that God has your back and He’s going to work it out for the good. If it’s not good, it’s not final. Maybe God is giving you a quiet season of just being with Him and learning to lean on Him in the midst of your aloneness rather than grabbing the crew and heading out on a Taco Tuesday for margs. Maybe He just wants to be with you and He’s giving you the opportunity to do so. I think a lot of times, we forget that this is a possibility. I know I’ve been there so many times in my life I’ve screamed at God out of my loneliness, which I’ve come to realize that a lot of that stemmed from comparison of how other people's lives looked from my point of view, either on social media or in limited interactions. This is a mindset we need to break off. Break those chains, because that’s exactly what they are. That fear, that comparison, it’s bondage. What if in this transition time of readjustment to a new life and a new location, God is going to give you the greatest revelation of His love because He finally has you to Himself, relying totally on him? Dang, you guys have no much I’m preaching to myself right now, because I’m still learning this process.
Lastly, let’s talk about a few types of moves. Sometimes, there’s moves where you feel a tug in your spirit straight from heaven and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s the Lord. Other times, you kinda just want to get up and go, I get that, I’ve been there. When I was straight out of college and living in Los Angeles, I was given two opportunities, and both of them sounded amazing and God wasn’t giving me a straight up answer, which I was pretty perturbed about because I wanted an exact instruction--I love rules and plans. I went back and forth for about 2 months on what I should choose and in doing so I was talking to a lot of wise people. One of whom said something to me I will never forget, “What if God is going to bless you wherever you go, because you spend time with Him and His desires have become your desires. What if they’re both a good choice because He’s going with you regardless?” I was stunned because that was something I never considered. I came from this religious mindset of, if I don’t do exactly what God says, even if I feel like both options are a good, the whole world is going to cave in on me and it’s going to be a sh** show. That religious spirit if from the pits of hell you guys, more on that another time. On the other hand, if you feel squeamish in your soul about it, don’t do it. Listen to the Holy Spirit you guys, that’s probably Him being like, “Hey just chill and listen for a minute.”
1 Thessalonians 5:21
“But test everything; hold fast what is good.”
I’m aware that this blog post is getting hella long, but there’s one more thing I want to cover, Inspired by my wonderful boyfriend Taylor. He’s a really go with the flow, no stress person, and I am not. I like to be the person defining where everything is flowing then making sure we get to the destination at a specific time, but one thing I’m learning from him is that, it’s going to be ok. Like, it honestly really is. Now, I wouldn’t say I’m an expert at putting his super chill mindset into practice, in fact, I’m pretty awful at it, but he helps me walk through it and attempt to relax and trust that it’s all going to work out. I constantly have to remind myself of this. The first trip Taylor and I took together, I had a mild panic attack before we left for the airport. Yay me, but this is real life you guys. Now, I love traveling to no end, but it stresses me out. So here’s a tip, go into your move trusting that even the messy parts of it are going to turn out ok.
Now, I’m going to leave you, and if you made it all the way to the end of this ridiculously long rabeling, then congrats, you’re awesome!